We'll face unafraid the plans that we've made, walking in a....

As I'm letting sabrinasdad.blogspot.com take up all my bandwidth, loading the video from home for Christmas, blogging in WordPad seems a logical way to pass the time.

As expected, the last 72 hours have been terrible homesickness. It's just hard to dodge all the mental cues of home, the trees and the lights and the carols and the mass and the parties and chocolates wrapped in red, gold, and green foil. It hit me like a brick, though, and a friend of my host sister's birthday party on the 23rd. I was looking at the tree and admiring the ornaments and it all flodded in, little things; like porcelain decorations my grandmother has put in the same spot in her house every year since my infancy, maybe before. Like hanging my stocking, and Christmases when things weren't so easy, and the past couple years when the boys cheer as Allison and I groan at 6:30 in the freaking morning...

I thought about what Christmas tradition really is, how in the movies they always have the same exact schedule, same plan, same routine, every year, but I don't. When I was little we always had Christmas Eve to celebrate my grandfather's birthday and come together with him at his house, but then he got old and eventually passed away and that tradition ended. For many years we went to cut down a tree as a big kickoff, then one year we got a pre-cut, then one year we had an artificial, and soon, it didn't seem right to say we had that tradition. Some years we drank cocoa, some years it was spiced cider. Some years I had the red and white candy canes, but others, around the time I was 11 or 12, I loved the neon tutti frutti ones.

And it's an expression as old as time itself, but it occurred to me that the ONLY thing I remember at every single Christmas, without fail, and never artificial, is family. Even when times were hard, when we were decorating a tree in a duplex, or an apartment, with Big Lots ornaments and a fake tree, it was us, Dad, Mom, Kim, my brothers, Allison, Grandma, Pat and Frank, Shelly and Sissy and all the little girls, and Christian too, whatever pets we had then, whatever girlfriends the boys brought home, and it made it Christmas. There is an image every year in my mind of a small room, or a large room, filled with people either way, and a tree, and the chatter and buzz of Christmastime. There is Christmas mass which, of course, I have never attended alone. I can remember a mass so far back I fell asleep in my mom's arms, while she unfortunately got stuck with me in one hand and a lit candle in the other... sorry Mom...

It always has seemed to me that older people had secrets, like how Christmas is about family, or how nice it is to have money saved, or how knowing what a surprise is makes it no fun at all, those secrets that even when the raisins tell the grapes, the young ones never understand. Some things you just have to learn yourself. You learn to save money once you've got $250 in babysitting cash and the video iPod goes on sale. You learn to let surprises wait when you don't see one coming and it wakes you right up, and you learn that Christmas is about family when you're playing house 3,100 miles away, and you see a picture someone snaps of you handing over a gift-a wallet, to your host dad, wrapped up tight, that makes him say "Ahh, a small present for your miniature dad!" [he stands around 5’5, Dad around 6’2 or 6’3 depending on his mood]- and in the picture he's laughing and you're laughing and the present is there between, symbolic of so much more.

This Christmas was not many things. It was not what I was used to, it was no white, and it was English-subtitle free. It WAS, however, eye-opening, heartwarming, and rejuvenating, seeing how Ecuador really could easily be my home. It has all the proper components: A loving family –TWO loving families, one right up close and one a little farther away –A warm bed –And room to grow, which I’m trying to fill “poco a poco”…

I’m literally praying this video will load further! It loaded to about two minutes and stopped and now every time I try to load more, it stops shorter and shorter, now at about 4 seconds… The ease and speed of the modern age…


Thank you Dad, thank you Kim, thank you Christopher and Father Noone and Sue and anyone who comes later in the video I’ve yet to see. I love you all and miss you very much. Merry Christmas---the merriest!

Christmas In America

The mood is right,
The spirit's up,
We're here tonight,
And that's enough
Simply having a wonderful christmastime

The funny thing about Christmas is the electricity in the air, that buzzing feeling, the excitement over racking your brain for hours until you think of the perfect gift, and then stretching 80 cents into a dollar to go out and buy it.

Last night, I finally was hit by the Christmas spirit in full force. It was the secret santa big-gift party for all the girls in my class. In true ecuadorean fashion, I arrived over an hour late and was still the first one there. While I waited with Janne, a fellow exchanger from Hamburg, Germany, we listened to Paul McCartney as he had a wonderful christmastime, compared past christmas stories, and worried about whether or not our secret santas would like our gifts, and if we would like theirs. It was just one of those giving and getting moments, in more ways than one, that Christmas always seemed to be about.

I love my gift. It's a mug that says Guayaquil on it. Even with no snow to love/hate, no carols on the radio, and exotic plants draped in lights, it still felt like pure Christmas.


Upon receiving the mug, the very first thought in my mind was where I would use it... maybe some place like the State University of New York at New Paltz...

...to which I was accepted December 19th, 2007!!!!!

I got the news through the true and thoughtful genius of my father's web design, almost as good as opening the envelope, if not better-because I didn't see it coming. The two of them, my dad and Kim, could be Hollywood actors. My dad, on the phone, was 100% business like he was testing a new graphic design. Kim sounded like she was ready to take a nap. Dad says "I'm filling out some forms and I need you to check out this website for me... Go to gardencenternews.com/sabrina and tell me what you think."

I got to the page and thought to myself Is this it? No, it couldn't be. They'd be way more excited. This is just some site... I saw the quote in New Paltz colors all about the beauty and charm of the campus and the programs, the quote from my tour guide, and I still am not putting 2 and 2 together.... And then I opened it. It could have been a movie. The page loaded, I saw my address, then "Dear Sabrina,", and when I got to "Congratulations!" I screamed louder than I think I ever have, exited out of the page, ran outside, and started yelling and jumping.

I could not have been happier, and I don't think the two of them could have been more proud. Eventually, around 11:00 that night, I realized Kim sounded so dreary because she'd been crying. Beyond college and Ecuador and everything else, I think it goes without saying that what makes me so lucky is being blessed with such an amazing family.

It would be hard to explain to people how exciting the prospect of New Paltz is for me;
how the campus felt like it fit just right,
how the giant Wal-Mart, 2.00 theatre, and farmland in the town were so reminiscent of Cobleskill where I spent a huge chunk of my childhood,
how it's the second most competitive SUNY to get into,
how the job I love and miss could help me get the same job there,
how it's close to home-but not too close,
and so on and so forth. I've thought about little else for months.

This includes my recent trip to QUITO!, one of the most important destinations in all of Ecuador. It was an awesome trip, full of firsts. I got to drive in a cloud, straddle the equator, dance to indigenous music, share a hotel room with people I literally met when I walked into it, stand in the crater of a volcano, plant trees, walk in altitudes only goats seem to enjoy, learned a song in German, shopped and shopped and shopped. Within that shopping, again thinking about college, back when I still didn't know, the search went something like this:

"This is a cuuuuuuuute tote! I love the colors. This would be really cool and fun to use... at New Paltz!"
"I've always wanted a hat like this... and it has a matching scarf! Perfect for cold days... at New Paltz!"
"Is this really Alpacha wool? It's so soft and warm. The blankets are perfect for a dorm... at New Paltz!"

Which was usually followed by the panic-stricken "OH GOD, what if I don't get in? How long are they going to make me wait?" and then "This bag would just look dumb at a community college" or "If I go to SCCC, I won't HAVE a dorm!" and then making the purchase on my now-flimsy hope.

So, now I have a tote bag, a hat, a scarf, some clothes, and a mug to use in and out of my New Paltz dorm!


That's about all the blogging I can muster for now. Sorry the posts are so few and far between, we're working on limiting my internet usage to keep me in the moment and help me use spanish, not english... Miss and love you all!

A wonderful christmastime

I am one of the luckier exchange students in that my hosts have taken me in as part of their family. My host sister brings me to mass, my host father tells me interesting facts about wherever we go and buys the type of cereal I like, and my host mother, most of all, has taken me as her replacement-youngest while Diego is in Germany. Every day, she reminds me to have fruits and vegetables, checks up on my plans and schedules, asks me about school, and warns me about the dangers of this city.

For the most part, my host mother is a very serious woman. She is the one in the front row of aerobics, sweating to the oldies. She is a dentist and doesn't laugh much. She's practical and focused and often worried, especially about me.

However, this serious, focused, ho-hum image of her has been shattered in my mind. She has gone Christmas nutty, and I, personally, love it.

Our house is much like Mirta. There are some pretty colors, sure, but the floors are a dull white-grey stone, the curtains are white, the paintings are of fruit and religious things. It's mellow. However, she has spent probably 4 straight days decorating for the holidays. We have an artificial tree that she decorated and hung with lights. Every table that's not glass, and even a couple that are, have red tablecloths. The kitchen tablecloth is green with bright red place mats. There are wreaths, mistletoe, figurines, and miles of lights. At night, we turn off all the lamps and track lighting and things like that and plug in the decorative ones, and it's really bright, there's not much difference between the two. Our nativity scene is at least 20-25 figurines and 2 ft. squared.


Of course, this got me thinking about the holidays back home. Thanksgiving passed quietly, we reserved 20 minutes of Spanish class for a thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday and got Thursday free. We made plans to go out thursday to our favorite burger place, El Capi, and I'd forgotten it was thanksgiving until about 8:00 that night. We prayed thanks for the blessings we have and petitioned for help of the massive poor population here.

However, something makes me think maybe Christmas will be harder to miss...



In other news, I sat down a few days ago and did the math: My exchange year is exactly 300 days long! Today is day 105, 35.3% down, 64.7% to go. Spanish classes will be finished in just over a week, and then we have our trip to Quito, the capital in the highlands. It's really cold there! I'm going to have to bring my coat, sneakers, jeans, etc.


Speaking of weather... today we have a high of 84, low of 73. Have some hot cocoa for me!